Monster Media 1996 #15/Monster Media Number 15 (Monster Media)(July 1996).ISO/modem/termail4.zip/TMNICE.TAG

Text File | 1996-05-28 | 8KB | 127 lines

URA Redneck if: You barbeque Spam on the Grill.
URA Redneck if: Jack Daniels is on your list of most admired people.
URA Redneck if: The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
URA Redneck if: The Orkin man tells you, "Give up; you've lost."
URA Redneck if: Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
URA Redneck if: You've ever used a weed eater indoors.
URA Redneck if: all of your four-letter word are two syllables.
URA Redneck if: You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
URA Redneck if: Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
URA Redneck if: You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen floor.
URA Redneck if: Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
URA Redneck if: the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
URA Redneck if: the primary color of your car is Bondo.
URA Redneck if: Your sister introduces you as the father of her children.
URA Redneck if: Blowing a tire means a new flower pot in your front yard.
URA Redneck if: You owe a taxidermist more money than your annual income.
URA Redneck if: You mow your lawn and find a car.
URA Redneck if: You have a taxidermist's phone number on your speed dial.
URA Redneck if: You get your oil changed by your barber.
URA Redneck if: You go to family re-unions looking for Womem to date.
URA Redneck if: You dress the kids up just to go to K-Mart.
URA Redneck if: You hold a Frog and _it_ worries about getting warts.
URA Redneck if: You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
URA Redneck if: You think suspenders are a type of shirt.
URA Redneck if: You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
URA Redneck if: you have a rag for a gas cap.
URA Redneck if: You think Ross Perot is the name of your Urologist.
URA Redneck if: everyone in your family is an Elvis impersonator.
URA Redneck if: You think a Volvo is part of a Woman's anatomy.
URA Redneck if: You've lost a tooth opening a Beer bottle.
URA Redneck if: Your mother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
URA Redneck if: after making love, you ask your date to roll down the window.
URA Redneck if: Your father made your personalized license plates.
URA Redneck if: Your Mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
URA Redneck if: Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene tips
URA Redneck if: Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
URA Redneck if: You view Duct-Tape as a long term investment.
URA Redneck if: Your sister subscribes to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine.
URA Redneck if: You have to re-crank your car at every intersection.
URA Redneck if: You've ever stolen toilet paper.
URA Redneck if: Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos"'.
URA Redneck if: You've ever used lard or Crisco to get into bed.
URA Redneck if: You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
URA Redneck if: You get HEARTGERMERS, but not from your Pets.
URA Redneck if: You have a Hefty-bag for a passenger side window.
URA Redneck if: You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
URA Redneck if: Your Dog can't watch you eat without Gagging!
URA Redneck if: You & your Dog Pee on the same tree while your walking.
URA Redneck if: You prominently display the souvenir you got at Graceland.
URA Redneck if: You cut your Toenails in front of company.
URA Redneck if: You bring a bar of soap to a Public swimming pool.
URA Redneck if: You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Forrest Gump: Stupid am as Stoopid Doo.
Forrest Gump: People to respect: Female Gym Teachers.
Forrest Gump: People to respect: Lonely Ranchers.
Forrest Gump: People to Respect: Fellow Inmates.
Forrest Gump: Time heals all Wounds. Newsweek even heals a few.
Forrest Gump: Avoid Nightmares.
Forrest Gump: Do you like Shrimp?
Forrest Gump: Life is like a warm Puppy, except when you get HeartGermers.
Forrest Gump: People who live in glass houses shouldn't pick their nose.
Forrest Gump: It's Much easier to bury the hatchet than to bury a body.
Forrest Gump: Tommorrow is another day. Although I've been known to be wrong.
Forrest Gump: United we stand, Divided we sit.
Forrest Gump: Variety is the spice of life, with Garlic Powder a close second.
Forrest Gump: Out of the mouths of Babes oftentimes comes drool.
Forrest Gump: Slow and Steady gets his ass kicked in the 100 yard dash.
Forrest Gump: Keep your metal detector in good workin' order.
Forrest Gump: Know why farts smell? So's deaf people can enjoy 'em, too.
Forrest Gump: Never get a manicure during an Earthquake.
Forrest Gump: Keep enough money on hand to bribe a policeman.
Forrest Gump: It takes two to Tango and ten to play basketball.
Forrest Gump: If the shoe fits, find the other one.
Forrest Gump: Bob Hope springs eternal.
Forrest Gump: One man's trash is another man's garbage.
Forrest Gump: Hell hath no fury like a woman who's just gotten a bad haircut.
Forrest Gump: Bad gas travels fast.
Forrest Gump: No news is good news-but enough about USA TODAY.
Forrest Gump: A dog is man's best friend. A man's leg is a dog's best friend.
Forrest Gump: If you can't do, teach. If you can't teach, do nothing.
Forrest Gump: A thing of beauty is a joy until the third face-lift.
Forrest Gump: Good things come to those who wait tables-tips.
Forrest Gump: The pen is mightier than the sword. Yeah, right.
Forrest Gump: You can lead a horse to water, but who has the time?
Forrest Gump: A bird in the hand is potentially messy.
Forrest Gump: The truth hurts. But not as much as flossing.
Forrest Gump: What does not kill us makes us extremely nauseous.
Forrest Gump: Silence is a virtue known to all mute men.
Forrest Gump: One Bad apple can spoil the whole report card.
Forrest Gump: Don't play the TUBA after running a marathon.
Forrest Gump: Tools are made to be broken.
Forrest Gump: Keep in mind: Piece of cake over peace on earth.
Forrest Gump: Watch out for show people. Especially the ones at Disney.
Forrest Gump: All work and no play makes Jack a C.P.A.
Forrest Gump: "Victim" is just "mitciV" spelled backward.
Forrest Gump: A friend in need can probably call someone else. Suggest it.
Forrest Gump: Talk is Cheap, unless you're online.
Forrest Gump: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. From what I've heard.
Forrest Gump: Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Forrest Gump: Money talks, just kidding-it doesn't really.
Forrest Gump: Keep a stiff upper lip. The Novocain will eventually wear off.
Forrest Gump: Life is like a dumpster, It Stinks.
Forrest Gump: A penny saved is pretty much useless.
Forrest Gump: The child is the father to the man. Read about it in the STAR!
Forrest Gump: A shot in the dark could lead to malpractice.
Forrest Gump: Charity begins at golf tournaments.
Forrest Gump: Do unto others before they do unto you.
Forrest Gump: Don't cross a ditch until you come to it.
Forrest Gump: It's no use beating a dead horse, unless he owed you money.
Forrest Gump: Dead men tell no tales. But you knew that.
Forrest Gump: Fools rush to a Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon.
Forrest Gump: Old age is wasted on the elderly.
Forrest Gump: My aunt Sheila once had an expression. But she forgot it.
Forrest Gump: Money is the root of all revenue.
Forrest Gump: Bad gas Travels Fast.
Forrest Gump: One Man's trash is another man's garbage.
Forrest Gump: Stupid am as stoopid doo.
Forrest Gump: United we stand, divided we sit.
Forrest Gump: Tools are made to be broken.
Forrest Gump: Talk is cheap, unless you are online.
Forrest Gump: Life is like a garbage dumpster, it stinks.
Forrest Gump: A penny saved is pretty much useless.
Forrest Gump: Charity begins at golf tournaments.
Forrest Gump: If one shoe fits, find the other one.
Forrest Gump: Old age is wasted on the elderly.